5. The One with Peanut Butter-Filled Chocolate Cupcakes

I'm super crabby today. Well, maybe that's an understatement...I've been pretty crabby for over a week now. I don't think anyone has actually noticed because I AM a pretty stellar actress...well, people at work have probably noticed, since they see me for 40 hours a week. Sorry, people at work!  I can't exactly pinpoint what brought on the "crabby," but a bunch of things are preventing it from going away:

1. I'm exhausted. Yes, I know, so is everyone else, but this is my blog and we don't talk about other people here. Only me. (See? Crabby.)
2. I've been feeling terribly uncreative at work, which is a problem since my productivity is usually based on how creative I happen to be on a given day. I don't think I've given a shred of helpful advice to anyone all week...including myself. I did somehow manage to choreograph an awesome hip hop routine yesterday...I was shocked. I have no idea where it came from.
3. My routine is just off right now. I have friends in town, it's a weird week at work schedule-wise, I haven't talked to/seen of some of my closest friends in awhile, and...I haven't cooked myself dinner at all this week because Emily has done it for me. I kinda want to keep her...although, if I don't cook something soon, I think I may explode.
4. I haven't been home in 2 months. Trust me, I'd love to go spend some time at home, but at the end of the week, when I'm already tired, the drive to my parents' house just makes me want to cry. Plus, I have to attend to all the things I didn't do during the week...like finding my sanity.
5. Reruns of "Grey's" have not been on Lifetime in over two weeks.

I think it finally hit me today that I'm just done being crabby...but apparently, the rest of me did not get the memo. I've been trying desperately to put myself in a better mood, but I'm running out of things to try.  So far tonight, I've had a wonderful dinner of awesome comfort food with Emily, watched two episodes of "Modern Family", went for a mile walk, snuggled both Stella and Charlee, and decided to blog. I'm also planning to take a bubble bath after this...and I'm STILL crabby. What the hell? Suggestions? Anyone? (Any smart comments will result in my foot up your ass...)

Now that you're picturing my foot lodged places, let's talk cupcakes. My boss and good friend, Jessica, invited me over for dinner with her family this weekend, so I decided to bring peanut butter-filled chocolate cupcakes with cocoa buttercream frosting for dessert. This was my third time making this cupcake recipe, but my first time making the frosting.  Actually, it's only the second time I've ever made frosting from scratch, and the first time resulted in buttercream soup.  Per requests, I took some step by step pictures to document the process, which went considerably better than my vanilla grease-cakes.

 Step 1: make the yummy peanut butter-filling balls.

 



Step 2: let Charlee supervise from a distance.

Step 3: mix together all the wonderful ingredients I can't share with you because, let's face it, I'm counting on you all to buy my cupcakes someday and how can you do that if you're just making your own?  

Step 4: sample the cupcake batter...just to make sure it's edible, of course.

Step 5: fill the bottom of the muffin paper with batter, add a PB ball, and cover...

Like so. Also, eat all of the batter off the plate and egg beaters in the background.

What step are we on? I don't even know...bake the cupcakes in the oven until tops spring back and fork comes out clean. This is where I had problems the first two times. The oven at my apartment was crazy-weird and was on average about 50 degrees hotter than whatever I set it at, resulting in dry cupcakes.

 Frosting time! While the cupcakes cool, mix together the frosting. This was the frosting recipe that went with the disaster cupcakes from last week. Since I didn't get a chance to try it out then, I decided to give it a whirl. Holy shit. I would bathe in this frosting.

 



 

Ta-da! Finished cupcakes! As the only person who had sampled all three batches of these, I thought this batch was fantastic. I hate the word "moist", but I guess that's the best word to describe these besides "super effing delicious."  I heard good things from everyone who sampled them, so yay for me! I loved the cake/frosting combo and am excited to make these again soon.  My next cupcake venture is going to be far more complicated...stay tuned folks.

19. Go to church consistently

So, remember how I was so upset about summer coming to an end?  Well...that ship has sailed and I'm ready for fall right now. I want to wear the nice fall cardigans I just bought. I want to sleep with the windows open without drowning in a pool of my own sweat. I want to eat soup every day. Damn it, I want a pumpkin spice latte! But apparently, August has decided to be a bitch and go back to being 90+ degrees. Sigh. August has, however, brought one good thing: FRIENDS!  For the next two weeks, I am going to have 2-3 roommates and I could not be more excited.  My university is having an alumni theatre show at the beginning of September, which several of my friends are involved with, so while they are putting together a show at lightning speed, I'll be serving as their hostess. (Or Residence Life Captain, as I like to think of myself.)  At first, I was a wee bit nervous about this arrangement, considering I haven't had roommates in three and a half years. But then, I got over it.  Emily, Rachel, and Seth arrived last night and things could not have been any better. I gave them a tour of my house. I got to see my friend, Ryan, whom I haven't seen in...well, we're not sure, but it's been a long effing time. I ran errands and watched several episodes of Modern Family while they were at rehearsal, and then we went out for a drink after. So. Great. And then, in true Seth and Steph fashion, we drove to Steak-N-Shake at midnight, had some delicious food, drove by the scary dinosaur at the museum, and came back home.  ...I get two whole weeks of this. I'm jealous of myself.

So, the church post.  I think I mentioned this one a while back, but I've actually started working on it now.  Before I begin, here's some background: I am NOT a church hater. I was raised Catholic.  I attended the same church from infancy until I graduated high school, and then sometimes when I was home for a weekend. My family went to church every Sunday, I went to Sunday School...that's how it was.  I liked church for the most part; the people were nice, we had really great priests (for the most part), my Sunday School friends eventually became school friends when we moved my freshman year, and, most importantly at the time, I got to look forward to "Donut Sunday" every month. I'd say my relationship with God was ok.  Not awesome, but ok, mostly because I didn't always pay attention in church.  In high school, I'd regularly run through my lines for a play or one of my recital dances in my head during mass. Now, I'm not an idiot and I know I'm not the first person to not pay attention at church.  But I kinda felt bad about it.  When I moved to college, I kept going to church for awhile (I went to a Catholic university), but after a bit, I started asking myself, why the hell am I going if I'm not even listening? What am I getting out of it? So, I stopped going, which was a lot harder than it sounds. The first week was easy, but each week after that, I felt guiltier and guiltier. Ah, good old Catholic guilt.  And good old family guilt.  That's when I decided: I wasn't going back to church until I was the one who wanted to go.  Not my mom, not my friends...me. I've officially been on my "church-vacation" for five years now.  I still go with my family when I'm home, or on holidays, but that's it.  Actually, it's been a really good thing for me.  Not going to church has made me think about what I believe in and what's important to me.  My parents raised me to be a good person and to love, and those are the things that are important to me.  Those are the things I try to do and be on a daily basis.  Those are the things that have kept me out of trouble when I've wanted nothing more than to punch someone in the face.  I also realized at some point that having a relationship with God was something that I wanted for myself and it's something I work at every day.  No, I can't quote Bible verses, and no, I can't tell you which Sunday in Ordinary Time it currently is, but I can tell you that my relationship with God is much stronger than it was five years ago.  I am much more thankful than I was and definitely a better person. 

So, my challenge from Ria is to start going to church consistently.  Here's what I have to say about it, and I don't mean to offend anyone, but I think there is a chance that church is just not for me.  I expect that several of you reading this are wanting to tell me I'm wrong right now; that I just need to find the right church with the right fit, that I need to be more open about this. The fact that I even let Ria put this on my list shows I'm open.  I could have told her to take it off, that I wasn't going to go, but I didn't.  I'm going to try it out and just see what happens. If I find a great church where I feel at home, awesome.  If I don't, it's not going to change how often I pray or chat with God.  I hope I do find a church, because I would like to raise my children Catholic someday, but I'd also like them to have a choice when they are older about whether or not they want to go to church.  I want to raise them the way my parents raised me, to be a good person and to love, because I think those are the things that have taken me far in life. I think you can be a great person and not go to church, and God will love you just the same.  But hey, I'm also the girl who believes the animatronic dinosaur at the Putnam is going to come to life and eat me, so what do I know?

I attended my first official "trying it out" mass last week.  Over the past five years (and even a bit in high school) I did try out some different churches with friends, but I quickly found out that they were not for me, nor were they what I believe in.  I have, however, been to a Lutheran church that I like and I'd be willing to go back.  The church I attended last week was a Catholic church and I went with a friend, Krista, whose church judgment I trust very much, since she is one of the best "good people" and one of the most loving friends I've ever met. The church was beautiful, the music was nice, the people seemed genuinely friendly, but I did NOT like the priest.  I won't elaborate too much, but we'll just say he seems to be a very unhappy man who looks at the glass half empty.  Krista was completely appalled by his homily (as was I, and seemingly, everyone else in church).  She apologized several times and said that he is not the priest they have every week.  As I was leaving, I heard several people echo what Krista had said, so despite the negative experience, I told her I would try it out again. 

If you made it through this entire post, I congratulate you! This was a deep one, for a Saturday morning.  Please keep your fingers crossed for me, that my next experience is a more positive one.  And now, I leave you to start reading some books to change my life and make a batch of peanut butter filled cupcakes.

21. Make pizza from scratch: 2nd time's a charm!

Fun fact about me: I'm the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family. Ok, maybe that's a lame fact, but it's my blog, so shut up. Anyway, all my cousins are younger than me, and most of them I don't see all that often, except for my Cool Aunt Sarah (as she is in my phone) and her family. I have been close with Sarah for as long as I can remember. She is my dad's youngest sister, so she's the closest in age to me. Almost ten years ago, Sarah gave birth to amazing triplets: Maddie, Alex, and Sam. I can't even begin to explain how awesome these kids are. I just love them...they are so great! About four years ago, Sarah had one more awesome kid: Gaby. Since Sarah's family lives in Minnesota, I only get to see them a few times a year, but I'd like to think I've developed a strong bond with the kids. A few weeks ago, I invited the older three to come stay with me for a weekend. I'd never been responsible for any kids for that long, and they had never been away from home for that long, but I thought it seemed like a good idea. So, two weeks ago, I drove three and a half hours to their house.  Let me just say this: if my house and job could relocate to LaCrescent, MN, so would I. Not only would I get to see some of my extended family more often, but the area is just beautiful! I got there around dinner time, so we ate, chilled on the couch for a bit, and then I got roped into playing Just Dance on the Wii for two hours. I'd never used a Wii before, but let's be honest: I kicked some serious ass. It was a good night.

The rest of the weekend was just as good.  We had breakfast with our Grandpa the next morning, then set off on our adventure. We went to the zoo, tried Lagomarcino's ice cream, visited the John Deere Pavilion to look at all the tractors, watched movies...it was so much fun!

My sister, Mal, was even able to come for part of the weekend. Saturday night, Sarah and Gaby joined the party. My Uncle Paul had to work so he couldn't make it, but boy, did he miss out. We made dinner, I introduced them to Whitey's ice cream, and then, because I'm such a good cousin, we took the kids to the science museum in town to see the giant animatronic T-Rex in the parking lot. Why does this make me a good cousin? Well friends, I'm terrified of all things animatronic, but especially dinosaurs. I wish I was kidding, but I'm so not. A few summers ago, the museum I work at had a dinosaur exhibit.  The employee entrance just so happened to lead into the travelling exhibit (where the dinosaurs were.)  I got special permission to use a different entrance. Seriously.  Most of the time, my co-workers teased me into cutting through the gallery, which I usually did...at a sprint. Anyway, I assumed the T-Rex would be off since the museum was closing, but alas, it wasn't. There was lots of screaming and I'm pretty sure I may have peed a little. The kids loved it so much that they requested we go back the next day. Gaby wasn't a huge fan of the dinosaur either, so we just hung out by the car.

All in all, it was a pretty great weekend and I can't wait for the kids to come back.  One of the highlights of the weekend that I haven't mentioned was...making homemade pizza!  If you haven't heard about my first pizza making experience, you can read about it here. This time, I was extra prepared.  The previous week, my mom had bought me a new pizza stone and a pizza peel, which I didn't have the first time around.  I also stocked myself with extra flour and cornmeal.  I used the same crust and sauce recipe as last time.  According to Sam, it was the best crust he has ever had and he wanted to know why his mom's pizza didn't taste like that.  (Sorry Sarah!!!) I divided the crust into four pieces and let each of the kids make their own pizza.

Yummy toppings!

Sam, topping his pizza

The kids LOVED making their pizzas! They were each very particular about which toppings they chose and the order they put them in on. They were so excited that we decided to take pictures with the finished product before going into the oven.  You know, just in case I ended up with a pizza puddle like last time.

So, much to my excitement, the pizzas turned out wonderfully.  All three kids said they were "perfect", although I don't know how much of that was attributed to the fact that they were all hopped up on Mountain Dew.  I was so happy with the results that I forgot to photograph my own pizza, which could only be described as "perfect."

I guess now that I've made successful pizza, I can finally cross this off my list. For those of you keeping track, next month is the halfway point for my list...6 months down, and 6 more to go.  Officially, I've crossed seven things off the list. I have also been working on seven, although there are two I have not blogged about yet. Those will be coming in the next few days. So technically, I guess I'm on track.  Thanks so much to those of you who have been following my journey, whether you are brand new to my crazy or you've been well-acclimated over the last five months. I appreciate all the love and support!



5. Make so many cupcakes and find my specialty

I need to take a second and do some bragging. I have some wonderful people in my life who are doing awesome things, and since my blog is almost as popular as Perez Hilton's, I thought I'd share with the world.

1. My sister, Kaylee: My baby sister just had her first day of junior year today (yay!) AND she had a huge article published in the Iowa State Daily. Check it out here. It's pretty great and so is she!

2. This is kind of old news, but needed to be mentioned anyway. Ria's husband, Dave (not his real name...just what I call him), just got a kick-ass new job that he has really been wanting! I am so excited for the both of them and all the good things this will bring to their lives. (Including a trip to Iowa...right?!)

3. My friends, Elizabeth and Tyler, are in the process of becoming owners of their own insurance company. I'm so excited for them! If you're looking for an insurance agent or looking to switch, let me know and I will refer you! (I swear, not being paid to promote...I just have no problem shamelessly plugging for awesome people.)

4. My other Tyler just got a brand-spanking-new job today! I'm extra excited because it means he'll be working my dance recitals every year. (Which I'm sure he is super pumped about too.)

Ok, now that I've done my fair share of bragging about other people, I'm going to do it about myself. I did four things on my list in the past week. FOUR. THINGS. Yeah, bitches. That means four blog posts this week. It also means that I'm about halfway through my list. Eff yeah.

So, cupcakes. Like most things on the list, there is a story behind this. I've been trying to think about what I want to do post-teaching. I know that I can't do this job forever and when the day comes when I need a walker from hip-hopping too hard, I want to have a plan. I also want to have a realistic one, because as much as I'd love to become Mrs. Joseph Gordon-Levitt and get paid to ride rollercoasters all day, I know that I can't count on it, no matter how likely it is. (Pretty freaking likely, Joe. Call me.)  So, I set out to find what I wanted to do with no luck. But one day, my prayers were answered in the form of Katherine Heigl. I got "Life as We Know It" on Netflix and settled in with low expectations. I mean, I love a good chick flick, but I figured it wouldn't be life-changing. However, it turned out to be an awesome movie and it made me decide I wanted to open a cupcake shop. (For those of you who haven't seen the movie, K-Heigl owns her own little bakery-cafe.) I figured it would be one of those things I'd want to do for a week and then I'd move on, but I didn't. I should probably tell you that at that point, I'd never made a batch of cupcakes from scratch in my life. Seriously. But, I was convinced that my cupcake shop was going to happen. Now, I know what you're thinking, skeptical folks: I don't know what I'm doing, I don't even know if I CAN bake, and cupcake shops are super trendy so even if I did make it work, there's no guarantee I could stay in business. And yes, all those things could be true, but how will I know unless I try? And besides, this is something that will most likely not happen for years. YEARS. But, I figured the cupcake baking needed to commence now...you know, so I knew if I could actually bake decent cupcakes.

Now, I've made a few batches before, but this is the first batch I'm going to blog about. I don't want you to have high expectations...this batch of cupcakes sucked. Like, sucked so bad I threw them out, and I NEVER throw out cupcakes.  For my first post, I decided to go with a vanilla bean cupcake with cocoa buttercream frosting. Delicious, right? I was doomed before I even started. Turns out, vanilla beans are freaking expensive. Normally, I would have just sucked it up, but I'm on a tight budget this month, so I did some research and decided to just substitute vanilla extract. That was really my only mistake. The suggested conversion from beans to extract was B.S.  I couldn't even taste the vanilla.  I followed the rest of the recipe to a T. I was a little concerned with the final batter product because it was really runny, but the recipe did say that the batter would be extremely wet so I figured it was fine. I baked the cupcakes for the allotted amount of time, let them cool, and then bit into one. I think it would be easier (and faster) to list the things not wrong with them, but that't not as fun, so here we go:

1) Spongy. The most sponge-tastic cupcakes ever. I could have wiped the counters with them.
2) Dry. What the hell?
3) They were shiny. Ok, so I know appearance shouldn't matter at the moment, but when your dessert looks like a Pro-Active before picture, I think you should be concerned.

At first, I thought maybe frosting could save them. But after a bit of overly-dramatic gagging, I decided not to waste my time. I'm blaming the recipe. After I go grocery shopping, I'm hoping to make peanut butter-filled chocolate cupcakes, which I've made before, with the cocoa buttercream. But in the mean time, you'll get to hear about the other three things I'm working on. Get excited, folks.

10. Read a book that changes my life

Ok, serious question...where the hell did summer go? Seriously, I woke up this morning and had to put on a cardigan (love me some fall weather, but really now...it's August) and then went to work where I'm finishing prepping my dance classes which start in, oh, you know, THREE WEEKS! I had plans for this summer. Big plans. And so far, I've only worn my swimming suit once. I've only gone to the Farmer's Market once. I haven't even found Joseph Gordon-Levitt's house yet. I just need some more time. But, alas, the Hogwarts Express will be here soon and I will have to go back to reality...unfortunately not of a magical England nature.

So, as I'm sure you've gathered from the title, I'm supposed to be reading a book that changes my life. Honestly, I don't know that I've ever read a book that's actually changed my life. I think the Harry Potter series would be the closest thing.  I read my first HP book when I was 12 or 13 and the last movie came out last year when I was 24, so Harry and the gang have been a pretty big part of my life. (Hence the HP referencing...) I grew up with them. The characters were so developed and realistic, I felt like I knew them personally. To this day, they are my favorite books and probably always will be. Call me a nerd; I would drop everything and move to Hogwarts in a heartbeat, if given the opportunity. Unfortunately, no other books have really done that for me. Don't get me wrong; I've read some amazing stuff, but nothing life-changing...meaning I need your help. Yes, you, oh anonymous readers of my blog, who laugh hysterically at my misfortunes while you eat your Lucky Charms. I need you. I need you to give me some suggestions on what I should read. I do, however, have some stipulations.

1. I don't want anything that is "supposed to" change my life. I don't really like being told how I should feel about something...I'd like to decide that for myself. Aka, I don't want to read Chicken Soup for the Dance Teacher's Soul or a book about how someone found Jesus. The only chicken soup I like is Panera's and I already have a pretty solid relationship with J-Money.

2. Nothing historical, please. I don't want to fall asleep and miss some life-changing magic.

3. ...I guess I don't have a number three.

To help you out in this process, I thought I would share 10 random facts about myself with you, seeing as I don't know who "you" are, or how familiar you are with me.

1. If given the opportunity, I would totally ride rollercoasters and water rides for a living. The scarier, the better.

2. Speaking of scary, I'm very much afraid of animatronics. Yes, that includes the creepy Chuck E. Cheese animals. I don't like things that move that shouldn't be moving.

3. I love inappropriate jokes. I'm also a frequent user of "that's what she said."

4. Animals make me cry more than people. Show me some sad puppies set to an awful Sarah McLachlan song and I'm a hot mess.

5. My favorite TV shows are as follows and in no particular order: LOST, Once Upon a Time, The West Wing, Grey's Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, The IT Crowd, The Office, Friends, Modern Family.

6. I am in a love/hate relationship with artists. I hate how cocky they can be and how so many always have to be right, even if they're not and even if that means making other people feel bad. I can't even tell you how many times I've been told I couldn't sing, I couldn't act, I couldn't dance...But at the same time, most of my friends are artists in one way or another. I love them.

7. I hate political commercials. I already know who I'm voting for and I've known for a long time; please don't continue to shove your burning hot spoonful of spite down my throat when all I want to watch is "Charlie Bit My Finger" on YouTube for the hundreth time.

8. I'm debating if I want a bowl of chocolate ice cream before bed.

9. I've been told that I'm a cross between Pam from The Office and Elliot from Scrubs. I'll take it.

10. I'm totally eating a bowl of chocolate ice cream before bed.

Ok, I hope that was helpful and gave you a glimpse into the inner-workings of me. Now, think of a book and tell me about it!