The Last One

I need to apologize again...for the last time. Well, for this blog anyway. I finished my list and then I disappeared for almost a month, after promising a nice wrap-up post. And if you know me well, you know that I LOVE for things to get wrapped up at the end. LOST finale? Friends finale? Really, any finale? HP 7? Yes. Just yes. So, I am back and ready to wrap this thing up. But first, here's what I've been up to since turning 26 and finishing the list...

*I had an actual birthday party with my friends, which, ironically, was the exact same group of people that I had invited to the balloon fun-tivities. (Minus Emily, who was back home.) We went to Old Chicago for dinner, I had the most delicious food ever, and just enjoyed the company of my awesome, kick-ass friends.

 

 Oh, you know, just one of my birthday gifts...

I'm a little concerned...

 

*I celebrated my birthday at home with my family. Also, Easter. But I didn't take any pictures, because I was too busy killing it at Euchre! (And by that, I mean I lost badly...oh so badly.)

 

*Mal and I took a trip with her friend, Louie, into Chicago to see "Big Fish: The Musical." Big Fish is one of my favorite movies, so I had to see it onstage. It. Was. Awesome. I've been to a lot of musicals, but this one had some of the best visual effects I've seen and the staging was just...wow. Plus, Norbert Leo Butz played Edward Bloom, and that just made my life. Ok, done geeking out now. But seriously, if you get a chance to see it before it leaves for Broadway in NY, do it. It was incredible. 

 



We also saw Jurassic Park in 3D. Not my choice. Remember, I'm the girl who's afraid of animatronic dinos. And that plus 3D glasses just sounded like an anxiety attack waiting to happen. But, I put my big girl panties on and went, and it was actually really great. I forgot how much I like that movie.

 

On our way home, we stopped at IKEA for my first ever IKEA experience. I literally could have spent a month in there. But, I behaved myself and only came out with seven things. Promise.

 

*I wrote a love letter to our local weatherman. Ok, maybe not quite a love letter...let me explain. So, we have this really good looking weather guy who is just a little older than me, and I've had a crush on him for, oh, probably three years. Anyway, about two weeks ago, he posted on Facebook about his wallet getting stolen and how he didn't care about the money, but really wanted his wallet back because it has sentimental value for him. So, upon suggestion from my very smart friend, Bryan, I went to Target, bought a Batman wallet, and mailed it to him, with a letter saying that I knew it wasn't the same as his old wallet, but that it had hopefully brought a smile to his face. Boom. I expect a marriage proposal any day now.

 

*And, the last thing I've done in this crazy month was help my sister, Kaylee, celebrate her 21st birthday! Woohoo! Mal and I took her out for martinis and it was a blast.

 

Me and Kaylee

Mal and Kaylee

The most delicious martinis ever!

 

Which takes us to today, April 17th, 2013, exactly one year and a day since I wrote my first post. I still remember sitting down to write it and not knowing what to say. It's funny how stressed out I was over something I never thought anyone would read. But, here I am, writing my 47th post on a blog that has been viewed over 3100 times. I'm overwhelmed. I'm grateful. I'm in awe that so many people took time out of their day to read about me and my shenanigans. So, for the last time, thank you, thank you, thank you. This blog wouldn't be what it is without you, and neither would I.

 

I've had a lot of questions about what comes next. Well, fear not, I WILL be starting a new blog shortly. I hope you will all continue reading about me, because I'm sure round two is going to be quite an experience. I have not yet received the list from Ria, but as soon as I do, I'll get started. Oh, and I promise not to keep you all in suspense like last time; the list in its entirety will be posted right away.  Speaking of lists, I wanted to take one more, last look at the old one, so here it is. 25 things. 25 things that I did. Thank you.

 

 

25 Things to Do Before I Turn 26

 

1. Close on a house

2. You didn't actually think I'd share it, did you?

3. Skype with my best friend from our special spot

4. Learn something new

5. Make so many cupcakes and find my "specialty"

6. Get down to a size 6

7. Write a blog

8. Have my job NOT be the center of my life

9. Get my yard looking presentable

10. Read a book that changes my life

11. Figure out something new about myself and share it with someone

12. Buy someone random an anonymous coffee

13. Paint something

14. Let go of something

15. Visit the farmer's market and buy flowers

16. Wear something of my mom's or something she made

17. Be completely silent for a while hour

18. Buy balloons and blow them up in my yard for no reason

19. Go to church consistently

20. Learn a few basic phrases in another language

21. Make pizza from scratch

22. Discover a new band

23. Write three letters that I have to mail

24. One time when I feel like crying, don't; dance instead. Crazy dance.

25. Meet the man of my dreams

 

Ria and me at her wedding (January 2012)

 

Me today (April 2013)

 



 





20. Learn a few basic phrases in another language

I'm late. And I'm sorry. (Were any of you really surprised?!) I had GREAT intentions of finishing my list on Monday night, but then I had to hardboil 30 eggs for work. (Long story.) Tuesday, which was my actual birthday, I was sick. Boo. Hiss. Mer. I slept in Wednesday in hopes of feeling better, worked all day Thursday, had company in town Friday, and a trivia night yesterday, which puts me at today. But blog readers, I am happy to announce...I have finished my list!

I remember when I first received the list and saw this was on here. Initially, I thought about learning some phrases in Italian or Swahili or something, but I'm not visiting Italy or Africa anytime in the near future, so I decided against that. Then, I thought about learning some Swedish, since there is a little boy in my preschool class from Sweden, but I didn't want to get schooled by a 3 year old, so that was out. I finally decided on sign language because a) I already knew some b) I've been wanting to learn more and c) it seemed like the language I would potentially get the most use out of. 

Back when I choreographed "Godspell," I was trying to come up with a unique idea for "Day by Day," because, well, it's kind of a boring song and I didn't want everyone falling asleep. My friend, Catie, was also working on the show and suggested that we learn some signs to go along with the song. For the next several hours, we searched the Internet until we had found all the lyrics. The kids love it and it turned out to be one of the best numbers in the entire show. Two years ago, Catie called me from a production of "Godspell." Their cast was signing too. Our idea lived on! Anyway, that was the last time I had learned any new signs. But, with the help of the Internet, I was able to learn some phrases I thought would help me in school or in every day life. I double checked most of these against at least one other site, so I think everything I learned was legit...at least, I hope so. Here is what I learned how to say:

"My name is Steph."
"How are you? I'm ok/good/fine."
"How can I help you?"
"Yes/no."
"Please sit."
"I'm sorry."

I also learned one especially for you all..."thank you for reading my blog." :)

Also...I apologize in advance for looking disheveled and the angry look on my face. It's Sunday, snowing, and I was concentrating REALLY hard!

And that's it! My list is done. Done. DONE. I think I'm actually in a bit of shock at the moment, so I'm going to process what this means and then write a recap of my entire list. Watch for that this week! Also, I've gotten a lot of feedback lately that you all have enjoyed the list, so I wanted to let you know that Ria is working on another one for me! Which means...a new blog! I will post the link to the new one once it is up and running, and I hope you will all continue to follow me and my crazy adventures. xoxo

25. The One I'll Finally Share

When the list was born about a year ago, I had some hesitations with #25...and it was one that I asked for! Ria had asked if I had any requests, and I did. "Close on a house! Get down to a size 6! Grow a garden in my backyard! Oh, and meet the man of my dreams!" I was serious...kind of. I didn't really expect to meet the man of my dreams this year just because it was on my list, but hey, a girl can hope. For those of you who don't know me, or don't know me well, I have bad luck dating. Like BAD luck. I've seriously comtemplated writing a book about all the bad dates I've gone on. Anyway, there it was on the list. And, although I went on some dates, both good and bad (I mean seriously...who goes on an apple orchard date to an orchard with ZERO apples?! Only me...), I didn't meet him. 

Now before the pouring out of sympathy begins, stop. I don't want it. I'm not trying to be a bitch, but I seriously don't want it. I am perfectly ok being single. I know that some single folk say that and don't mean it, but I'm not one of them. I LIKE living alone. I LIKE not having to base my decisions around another person. I LIKE getting to spend my lack of money however I'd like. Do I want to be single forever? No. Absolutely not. I want to get married and I want to be a mom. But heading into my 26th birthday as a single lady is really not the worst thing in the world.  I just wish I could convince the world that...

Unless you're also 26 and single, you might not understand what I'm going to say next: advice to single folk is ALWAYS the worst. Even if intentions are good. That's why I initially said I didn't want to discuss #25. But, it's the end of the list, and why keep you all in suspense? Anyway, I hate when others try to give me love advice, or even worse, their viewpoint on my situation. Here are all things I've been told at some point in the past few years:

"I think you just don't want it bad enough. I mean, if you did, you'd be TRYING."

"You're trying too hard." Me: "Just because I want to get out more and put myself in a position to actually meet people?" "Yes! You're trying way too hard!"

"Maybe if you didn't let your cats sleep in your bed, you wouldn't be single right now..."

"I mean, maybe God wants you to be single forever."

"You spend too much time at work. I just don't think you'll ever meet anyone when you spend that much time at work." (Just to be clear, I work 40 hours a week. Oh my GOD!)

And, my personal favorite, in response to me not dating anyone...
"Have you ever looked into adoption? I mean, you might want to start, because you don't know how much longer your eggs will be good for."

Now thankfully, I can look at this list and giggle, without taking it to heart. I haven't met THE guy yet, and hey, maybe it IS because Stella and Charlee like to sleep with me. I mean, who could resist this face?!

 

But I digress. I'm not sad about being single. And I'm not sad that I didn't get to cross "meet the man of my dreams" off my list. (I mean, JGL had a terribly busy year. It's not my fault that he wasn't able to find me.) Instead, I'm putting my focus on the fact that I completed (almost) 24 things this year, by myself. Sure, I had some help here and there, and family support. But I purchased a house by myself. I know what that process is like now. I know how to do all my own yard work, because I've done it, not had someone else do it for me. I did these things on my own and I could not be prouder. So, I'm not sad. And I'm still going to cross "meet the man of my dreams" off my list. Because it's my list. And I can do what I want. :)

 

Tomorrow is the big day! My 26th birthday! Unfortunately, tomorrow is also the day where I work from 8:30am-9:15pm (with a lunch break...Bryan and I are getting some Red Robin...YUM!) so I won't have time to blog. But fear not! I have Wednesday morning free to blog about the last item I cross off and I will be doing a wrap-up post this weekend. Stay tuned!

23. Write three letters I need to send in the mail

I am a cry baby. I'm honestly surprised this hasn't really come up this whole time, aside from the infamous crying post, which you can reminisce about here. But it's true. I've honestly had some moments the past few days where I've started to tear up over the end of this list. It's almost here. When I started out with this whole thing and began my blog, I assumed that Ria and my mom would be the only people to read it. But it has gone so much further than that, and I am so thankful that the list has reached so many people. And here I go, tearing up again.

I bring up crying because I tend to cry when I write letters. Before Ria moved, she asked me to write her a letter to read on the plane. I'm pretty sure I wrote 12 pages and cried on at least half of them. A few years ago, I choreographed "Godspell" for one of the local high schools and got very close with the cast. The night before we opened, I wrote each of the kids a personalized letter, telling them how proud I was. I remember that night vividly because I cried to the point of dehydration. I actually had to take breaks between each letter to calm myself down...and drink insane amounts of water. Anyway, when I saw this was on the list, I knew it was going to be...interesting. But I think it turned out for the best. :)

The first letter I wrote was to my friend, Ryan. Ryan and I went to college together and were both in the theatre department. He was one of the friends that stayed with me at the end of the summer to work on the alumni show. Anyway, here we are back in college. We were so cool.

 

After Ryan did the show here, he went to Oregon to work on a production of Midsummer. We talked a lot while he was there, and I wrote him a letter so he could get some mail while he was away. Basically, the letter was just random stories and facts and ridiculous crap to make him laugh. Hopefully, it did the job. (And...that's what she said!)

 

Letter #2 went to Ria because, let's face it, it was the LEAST I could do after she gave me this amazing list. In case you forgot what her beautiful face looks like, here is is:

 

 

Yes, I know...you're jealous of my wand. But back to the letter...I sent Ria hers at Christmas in a giant care package. She told me she hadn't gotten any mail yet in Australia that was just for her, so I sent her all the things from here I knew she loved: Starbucks (in instant form), chips from Jimmy John's, her favorite lip gloss, a scarf, an issue of Cosmo, and some other goodies. I also included a Christmas card and then a letter, basically telling her what a freaking awesome person she is. Seriously. How did I get so lucky to call her my best friend? I just don't get it...

 

Letter #3 took the longest. I was originally going to write it to J.K. Rowling and tell her how much the Harry Potter books have changed my life and basically geek out like the fan girl I am. That was the plan up until Friday night. On Friday, I went to go see a production of Camelot that I choreographed. (I have choreographed for the same high school for the past six years...yes, that does make me feel old...and accomplished...and old.) The show was AMAZING. And I'm not just saying that. As much as I hate to admit this, I have a hard time paying attention to live theatre. I love it more than I can put into words, but I always get distracted: bad lighting, a long scene change, a character has a lisp who shouldn't...and I get pulled out of the show and can't focus. But Friday night, I was completely in it the entire time. For a high school production, I was blown away. Usually, I stick around after the show to hug all the kids and to tell them how amazing they were, but the crowd was huge so I left. I decided on the way home my last letter would be to them. I just wrote it...and managed not to cry, despite it being a very honest, heartfelt letter. I hope that at the very least, it will make them smile.

 

I'm officially down to two things. Two things in 42 hours and 54 minutes. But for the next eight, I'm going to sleep. Goodnight, blog readers. I love you all.



18. Buy balloons and blow them up in my yard for no reason

T-minus two days...well, if we're being completely technical, two days and 55 minutes. I'm freaking out a wee bit. I mean, I know I'm going to get the list done, but this feels like college. Like the time I had to do a complete costume design for five different characters in the musical "Chicago," complete with sketches, descriptions, shading, etc. I, like most of my class, started the night before. I remember attending a "sketching" party for a little while (which, of course, involved more freaking out and eating junk food than sketching), before retreating to my room with a giant can of RockStar. I think I worked until 6am, when I fell asleep on my futon. I magically woke up at 7:30, finished my project, and was ready to present (somewhat coherently) at 9. Yeah...my list is going to end up like that.

So, I realize that this balloon thing coincides very closely with my birthday, but it was technically not a birthday celebration. That is next weekend. This weekend was a balloon party/fest/extravaganza/palooza/etc. I asked several of my closest friends to come over yesterday to help me blow up balloons in my backyard. And then we were going to grab dinner after. But, of course, it turned into so much more than that. But here's how it started:

Emily!

Elizabeth and Megan, plus the kick-ass balloons Bryan and Seth brought me!

Aren't we cute?

Balloons!

Bryan, Seth and me!

Clearly, the weather was not in on my plan, because it was cold and really windy, so we took the party inside where we wrote out my entire list, one at a time, on each of the 25 balloons.

 

Erica and Emily, gettin it done!

 

I just love Bryan!

 

And I love Elizabeth!

 

Some of my beautiful friends!!!

 

So, we wrote. And then this happened...

 

So much friendship! :)

 

Almost some tears...but don't worry. I held it together so that this could happen...

 

Balloon popping time!

I popped all the ones that are done, leaving me with three balloons. It was an amazing day and an amazing experience. I think it was Emily that said, "I know that this list is yours, but it feels like it's kind of become all of ours." Thank you to all of you that have put so much energy and love in to helping me complete this list. Almost done. :)

 

 

 



 

 

4. Learn something new

Today is a big day. Firstly, it's the first Saturday I've had in three weeks where I'm not doing something work related! Woot woot! Second, it's the one year anniversary of me making an offer on my house. I can't believe that happened a whole year ago! Third, I'm crossing something big off my list this afternoon as part of a mini early-birthday celebration. But more on that in my next post. :)

I'm going to keep this short because a) there's only so much you can say about what I learned to do without boring everyone to tears, b) I really need to clean my house and c) I'm still not entirely sure I'm awake. So here it goes. I decided I wanted to learn how to french braid my own hair. Now, I'd never actually french-braided anyone's hair before, but I knew the general idea. So, I've been practicing for about two months now and I'm starting to get better! I had a little bit of a setback a few weeks ago when I got my hair layered, but no worries. I've recovered. It is still taking me about five or more minutes to do, but I'm hoping with more practice to cut that number down. But hey! I have another way I can wear my hair now. Yay!

This was my very first attempt. Not too bad, eh?

This was my latest, with all the new layers. Still not too shabby.

 

Well, there you go. That's really all I can say about french braids. Stay tuned...I've got three days left and four more things to go.

6. Getting down to a size 6...and the verdict is...

Ok, ok, I know I've been off the grid for over a week, which is NOT acceptable this close to "the end date." (If this list were a movie, I feel like that's what my birthday would be called: the end date. I like it.) I have no good excuse; I've been fussy for two weeks now for various reasons, but that has passed and I'm ready to update you on what I've been doing!

I decide awhile ago that I would do my final "size check-in" at least 10 days before my actual birthday. Because, let's face it, that will be the last thing on my mind as I stuff myself with birthday cake. Anyway, I needed to go shopping for a dress last week so that seemed like the perfect opportunity to check in. I went to Target and hit up the Prabal Gurung rack (if you've been living under a rock, that's their current designer section) and was immediately disappointed at the limited sizes. There was a dress I had my eye on for weeks, but it was only in a 6 or a 12. The 6 looked a little small, but I picked it up anyway. Then, I found another dress I loved, but that was only in an 8, 14, and 16, so I took the 8. I grabbed another 6 in a different style, and was ready to walk away when I saw a crazy cute black and white dress that screamed "Steph." So, I picked it up...and it was a 4. I put it back and headed for the dressing room, but halfway there, I turned around and grabbed the 4. I mean, why the hell not, other than the obvious reason of "there is no way in hell that I'm a size 4." I tried on one of the 8's first. I was assuming I'd be an 8, based off of the look of the dress. Surprisingly, it was a little big! I tried on the 6 in the dress I had planned to buy, but the chest area was too tight. I was really sad about that, since that dress had been THE dress. I tried on the other 6, which was a better fit, but I'm not a big fan of letting my ass hang out (literally and figuratively) so that was also a no. Which left me with one, lone size 4. I almost didn't try it on, but I needed a new dress so I pulled it over my head...and it went on. I put my arms in and didn't feel like I was going to die. So, the moment of truth...I zipped it....and I could still breathe. And move. And sit down. I fit into a size 4. I FIT INTO A SIZE 4!!! The heavens opened up, God dumped a shit ton of confetti on me, and every customer in Target paraded me out of the store. Then, Joseph Gordon-Levitt asked me to be his girlfriend. And I found $50.

Ok, so that last few things didn't happen, but the size 4 worked so I bought it and wore it and I love it! I still can't believe that it fit! I know that I'm not a size 4 everywhere (in fact, I'm not entirely sure that I can wear a size 6 pant yet), but I've made significant progress this year and that's what counts. I'm eating better, feeling healthier, and overall, enjoying life more. I know not everyone in my life was supportive of me counting my calories, but in all honesty, it made me much more aware of the crap I was eating and helped me make better food choices. I also bought myself some good walking shoes and have been trying to get to the mall once a week to walk for an hour with my friend, Erica. I've felt more energetic in my dance classes and have actually been sleeping better too. Huzzah! Of all the things on my list, this is one that I'm extremely proud of. Though it was definitely the most frustrating and the most difficult, it also was very rewarding. I am planning to wear the dress again this weekend (when I'm crossing another thing off my list...) so I will post some pictures after. We are down to six more days, people! Get excited.

9. Getting my yard looking presentable (with the help of another list...)

I've come to the realization I'm getting old. Now, before anyone protests (Mom, I'm looking at you), I have actual evidence of my oldness.

1. I have gray hairs that need to be dyed regularly.
2. I told one of my preschoolers the other day I was 4. She said, "No, you're not! You're 50!"
3. I can't make N'Sync or Backstreet Boys references to anyone except my advanced class without getting a weird look. I get weirder looks when I say they're kinda like the Jonas Brothers. Dear Lord...
4. I have a baby sister who is almost done with college and another baby sister in grad school.
5. I could have had a baby post-college and they would be old enough now to be in my preschool class.
6. And, the most convincing evidence? I actually remember when MTV played music videos, and we all know how long ago that was!

And I'm going to be another year older in just 17 days. Shit.

So, somewhere in the crazy that was my week, I wrote down my four-year plan for my yard. Why a four-year plan? Well...Ria and I have been discussing the future of "The List" and what will happen on my birthday and she suggested that instead of doing a "26 before I turn 27," she is going to do a "30 Before I Turn 30." I won't go into too many details right now, but I'm super excited. Anyway, back to the yard plan...I literally wrote down every (practical) idea I could think of. Now, some of these ideas are obviously much easier than others, but as I've mentioned, I can't mow my lawn to save my life, so this may very well take the entire four years...or more.

1. Plant a vegetable garden in the backyard
2. Buy new path lights for the backyard
3. Plant grass in the grassless corner of the yard
4. Plant flowers behind the garage (Because I have an ugly, bare patch of grass there and the alley deserves to look nice too!)
5. Get rid of the sticks! (The previous owners left behind a nice "compost pile"...full of sticks. Lots and lots of sticks.)
6. Landscape around the trees in the backyard
7. Replace the rock edging around the flower beds in the front and back yards
8. Replace the chain link half of the fencing with a tall privacy fence to match the other half
9. Wall in my carport, take down the small side fence, and make an open air porch off of my garage
10. Rip out the ugly stuff in the front flower bed and replace it with flowers I like
11. Remove the ugly prickle bushes by the gate to the backyard
12. Buy a table for my deck to go with my chairs
13. Buy a birdbath for the front or back yard
14. If I'm feeling super ambitious, tear out the ugly bush by my front steps.
15. If #14 happens, replace the hand rail next to the steps

There we go! Did I mention this was a potentially expensive list? Eek. Anyway, I plan to keep this as a working document and add to it as I think of things. Any suggestions? Or is anyone good at building fences for free? Anyone?!

10. The One with the Book That WILL Change My Life

There are several things I pride myself on when it comes to this blog: that I even kept it going in the first place, how funny I am, the following it's created, how funny I am, you get the point. I also pride myself on my ability to keep things short and sweet, which I am attempting to do today. But, let's be honest, I have about 1200 things screaming in my brain right now that want to be a part of this post so go get the beverage of your choice out of the fridge, make a potty run, and grab a blanket, because you may be here awhile.

I have two people I need to thank for helping me find my book, which is "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. The first is my friend, Lou. Lou actually directed me in one of my favorite shows I've ever been a part of called "Stop Kiss" when I was a junior in college. I ran in to him around Christmas time at a holiday party and he asked if I'd ever read the book "Blue Like Jazz," which, coincidently, is also written by Donald Miller. He told me he thought I'd really enjoy it and that it might give me some perspective on my church hunting situation. I added it to my list of suggestions. Fast forward to the end of January. I was Skyping with Ria, who is the second person I need to thank, and we were talking about my super exciting dating life. She started to tell me about a friend of her sister's and her now-husband, about how they met, etc, and my book came up. Ria said, "It's really great; you should definitely read it," and then continued on with her story. That night, I decided I should give one of the Donald Miller books a shot, since he had now been recommended twice. The next week, I went to Barnes and Noble. They didn't have "Blue Like Jazz" in stock, but they did have one copy of "A Million Miles..." so I bought it and planned to start it that night. Now, the best laid plans of Steph almost always go awry, so I didn't start my book that night. Or the next night. Or the next night. I think it was a whole week before I actually sat down with it. And then I couldn't stop. I'd read several chapters each night before bed, always reading one more than I said I would. Something you should know: this book is NOT a page-turner like Harry Potter. But I couldn't get enough. It was at the end of part 1 of 5 that I knew this was going to be THE book. I was finishing up a chapter before work when three sentences literally jumped off the page, shouted obsenities at me, and punched me in the face. Really. I reread those three sentences about 12 times. Then, I got out a pen and put a star at either end of the sentences. That in itself was a huge deal, because I never write in my books. I barely even made notes in my textbooks in college. But I digress. I reread the sentences again and again until I realized it had been almost 15 minutes of staring and I was going to be late for work. But I literally could not get those sentences out of my head. I started bringing a pen with me wherever I sat down to read, marking each quote that made me stop. I loved that this book not only made me think, but laugh out loud several times, and, today, with only 40 pages to go, cry. So today I finished it. And while, my life hasn't changed yet...it's about to.

So, what was it about? Well...any synopsis I give is going to suck in comparison to reading the real thing, but eh, why not? So, "A Million Miles..." is nonfiction. It starts with Don, the author, being asked to adapt one of his books (later, you find out it's "Blue Like Jazz") into a screenplay for a movie. He accepts, but finds out right away that real life doesn't always translate into a "good story." The majority of the book is about him learning how to actually live a good story. Ok, see, I made it sound boring, but I promise it's not!

How is it going to change my life? Well, that's where it gets interesting. I think I lead a pretty nice life. I have an amazing family, the best friends anyone could have, a job I love, a great house, and I'm genuinely happy. But, despite all that, I've been feeling like I'm stuck in a rut and didn't know what it was...until I read this book. My story is good...but it's not great. I'm too comfortable. Ria and I were talking about my list tonight and I told her how much I've loved it and how much it's helped me grow as a person, but that it was also...

"Doable" she said, "Everything on the list was within your reach."

"Right," I agreed, "Everything I did was within my comfort zone." And, while I feel so much gratitude to Ria for coming up with this amazing idea and pushing me to try new things, and so much pride in myself for what I've accomplished, I never did leave my comfort zone. I don't want to say everything I've been doing is easy...but it kinda is. That's how my life has gone this year...very much in my comfort zone. It's fine; like I said, I lead a nice life. But it's not a great story and it's not helping anyone else live a great story either.

Remember when I said my sister, Mal, and I made some wine-induced New Year's resolutions? Well, Mal's first one was about wanting to "participate in life more" instead of just watching it go by. We talked about it last night and she said, "I just want to live every day like it's the best day ever." I want to do that too. I want to live each day as a great story and I want other people to be a part of my great stories and to have great stories of their own. I've spent a lot of time this year being a hermit when I should have filled it with experiences. While I don't regret anything from this past year, this book has really inspired me to live "better." And I plan to do just that...and live each day like it's the best day ever.

The One with What I Have Left

So...it's officially panic time, my friends. Today is February 19. My birthday is March 19. Oh. Em. Gee. My plan was to have something finished by today to blog about, but between being sick, travelling, and that little thing called work, it didn't happen. So instead, I present to you the list of what I have left. Let's all freak out together.

4. Learn something new- Making progress on this one...just not quite finished.

6. Get down to a size 6- I've been stuck in this size 7 limbo for far too long. Why does chocolate have to be so delicious?!

9. Get my yard looking presentable- considering we got a fresh dusting of snow yesterday and are due for another death storm any minute now, there's not a lot of work to be done. But I am coming up with a yard "plan." Which I will blog about as soon as it's done.

10. Read a book that changes my life- I'VE FOUND IT! ...I just haven't finished it yet.

18. Blow up balloons in my yard- it's in the works...

20. Learn basic phrases in another language- I just need to sit down and do it.

23. Write and mail three letters- I've done two. You wouldn't think writing one more would be so hard...

25. Ha! I'm still not telling.

There you have it. That's what I've got left...4 weeks to finish 8 things. I'm going to throw up.

5. The One with the Baby Shower Cupcakes

It's a first...2 blog posts in one day! And on the same day as the Puppy Bowl. It doesn't get any better than this. (Seriously...I'm putting my computer away after this. No more blog posts today.) I know I promised this last Sunday, but my computer had other plans. And by other plans, I mean a virus, and by virus, I mean porn. It's a long story...

So, the baby shower cupcakes! There are two things you should know before I start:

1. I am a huge procrastinator, although I always have good intentions.
2. Everything turned out for the best. I promise. :)

The baby shower was for my boss, Jessica, who has become a wonderful friend of mine. We actually threw her two showers. The first one was at my house and the second was at my friend and co-worker, Alyssa's. Alyssa planned this really cute tea party and asked if I would be willing to make the cupcakes, since that's my "thing." I immediately agreed, and then immediately started panicking. I have only made cupcakes for myself, my family, and my close friends. I've never made them for an occasion before. Thankfully, I received three cupcake cookbooks for Christmas so I started recipe hunting. After lots of deliberation, I settled on a yellow cupcake with a pink vanilla frosting. I also decided to make a peanut butter cupcake with chocolate peanut butter frosting, since Jess loves chocolate and peanut butter. I also wanted to give people a choice, because, I'm nice like that. Anyway, my original plan was to do a test run of the yellow cupcakes early in the week to make sure they tasted ok. I've never made a "normal" flavor of cupcake before and didn't want to mess it up. I started to make a batch on Wednesday, but realized I was out of baking powder, so I decided to make them Wednesday night after a run to the store. However, my evil sinuses had other plans so I put the cupcakes off until Friday. The baby shower was Saturday so I decided to skip the test run and make the cupcakes Friday night. That way, if they sucked, I could try something else before Saturday morning. I went grocery shopping on Friday afternoon to get all the ingredients. At the last minute, I grabbed a can of chocolate frosting, just in case everything went to shit. Best decision I made that day... Anyway, Friday night was my chicken alfredo pizza making incident. If you didn't read about it, all you need to know is, it went badly. I waited for the oven to cool and scraped the cheese/alfredo sauce mess off the bottom. Then I preheated it and started getting ready to bake. My parents got me a stand mixer for Christmas and this was my first time using it, so I was pretty excited. As were Stella and Charlee...

 

It was around that time that my oven started smoking. A lot. Thankfully, I hadn't started mixing anything yet, so I shut off the oven, opened all the windows on the main floor, and was pissed that once again, I would be doing something at the last minute. 7am on Saturday morning, I was in the kitchen, scrubbing out the bottom of the oven for a second time. Once I had convinced myself that my house wasn't going to burn down, I mixed up the yellow cake batter and put the cupcakes in the oven. I started mixing up the peanut butter cupcakes when I happened to notice that the yellow cake recipe had called for three eggs...and I could only remember putting in two. Clearly, crying would remedy the situation so I did that for a few minutes, and then checked the garbage, where I found three egg shells. I thanked the cupcake gods for not letting me eff everything up, and resumed cupcake mixing.

 

After both batches were baked, I took a quick shower, did my hair and make-up, and went downstairs to make the frosting. At this point, it was 10:00 and I was supposed to be at Alyssa's at 10:30. The original plan had been to make both kinds of frosting from scratch and then pipe them on with my new frosting decorating bottles, but that clearly wasn't going to happen. I made the pink vanilla first. The last time I had tried to make a similar recipe, I had ended up with vanilla soup. This time, I had a consistency similar to, oh, I don't know, maybe concrete? I added milk like a mad woman, until it looked like frosting. I threw some peanut butter in the chocolate frosting I had bought, and then frosted both kinds of cupcakes. Then I picked out the prettiest 28, packed them up, and made it to Alyssa's by 10:38 am. I know. I was impressed too.

 

The yellow cupcakes

Yellow cupcakes with pink vanilla frosting and white sugar sprinkles. Yum.

I thought they looked pretty!

 

The verdict? They were a hit! I received a lot of compliments at the shower, and then more when I took the extras to a trivia night. My thoughts? I'm not a big fan of plain yellow cake, but I thought they tasted good! I don't really like vanilla, so if I made the frosting again, I would cut the amount of vanilla in half or use a different flavoring. I was happy with the shade of pink though. They were very pretty! The peanut butter cupcakes were fine. Very filling. I definitely prefer my other peanut butter cupcakes with the chocolate chips inside. But, despite the setbacks, I thought everything turned out very well. And now, I can relax and make some cupcakes just for me. So, what should be next? I want to try something new. Please comment below and give me some fresh ideas!





19. The One Where I'm Still Not Going to Church

Welcome folks, to Heavy-Topic Sunday! Because, in true Steph fashion, I can't just let Super Bowl Sunday be Super Bowl Sunday; I need to throw in a nice healthy dose of moral dilemmas and Catholic guilt. It's gonna be a long one. You're welcome.

So, if you can remember all the way back to my first church post (and if you can't, it's right here!), my first "trying out churches" experience wasn't a great one, but I said I'd try it out again. I haven't. I actually haven't "tried out" any churches since. I've been to church a few times since then, like when I go home to my parents' house or when I visit my family in Minnesota. I like both their churches. Actually, I love the church in Minnesota, and if it wasn't three and a half hours away, I'd definitely be going every week. But, it is, and since I can't apparate anywhere, I can't go there on a regular basis, which obviously poses the problem of "where can I go on a regular basis?" Remember, I'm supposed to be going to church consistently. Now, before I go any further, what I have to say in this post is clearly not going to please everyone. That's not my point. The point of this blog was to chart my progress with my list and if I can't be honest about my progress, what good is the list anyway? So, if this post is not for you or if you are offended easily, please feel free to stop reading now. I promise that I will not be offended. :) Anyway, moving on...

I actually talked to my friend, Erica, about this earlier today. Well, I talked...a lot. She listened...and didn't judge me for rambling. Thanks Erica! Anyway, we were walking laps at the mall with all the retired folk. On our first lap, I noticed what appeared to be a church down by Sears. On our second lap, I confirmed that it was, indeed, a church within the mall. On lap three, I pointed it out to Erica and we amused ourselves briefly by discussing shopping as a religion. Then, we fell into the topic of my list (which we had actually been talking about just before we approached the church) and how me going to church was going. Here's where I am at this point: I still don't think I'm ready to go to church because I haven't found myself wanting to go. As I mentioned, my mind is not always thinking about church when I'm at church. When I take time to pray at home or in my car or in the shower, I remove everything else from my mind so I can focus on praying. I get more out of that right now than I would out of an hour of sitting in church. I don't think I'm wrong or flawed for feeling that way. Is me praying several times a day at home worse than the people who pray once a week at church and then don't give it another thought? (I don't want an answer on that...just some food for thought!) I don't think God loves me less for feeling that way. I think it's how I feel, and that's ok. Despite the fact that I'm not actually going to church, I'm still crossing it off my list. Here is why:

1. When I started this list, I wasn't quite sure what I defined myself as. I've decided that I am definitely Catholic. Although not all my views mesh, the Catholic church is where I feel most comfortable and most "at home." I don't think there is any church out there that is EXACTLY what I'm looking for, but I think this is close.

2. I don't want to give myself a deadline on finding the right Catholic church for me. It may take weeks, or months, or years, and I'm really ok with that. People told me I'd look at a hundred houses before I would find the one I would buy. I looked at ten. I will start looking when I'm ready. When will I be ready? No idea...but I'll know.

3. I want to have all this figured out before I have kids. I want to raise my kids Catholic, like I was raised, and then let them make their own choice when they are older as to what they believe. I know it was really hard on my mom when I stopped going to church, but she let me make my own choice and she continued to love and support me even though I know it wasn't the choice she would have made. I had a great childhood of church and Sunday school memories and I'm hoping that in the near future, I'll be able to make new church memories.

4. I've become more of a "thank you" person this year. Not that I wasn't before, but I've found myself saying "thank you" when I pray more than "please do this..." or "please help me!" or "I know it probably breaks your God rules but if you make a cheesecake appear out of thin air, I promise not to tell anyone." But seriously. Even if it's just a quick "thank you for my hot shower when it's -3 outside." I've definitely been more "glass half full" this year and I'm very grateful for that.

So, I'm "crossing" number 19 off my list, even though it's an ongoing process. No, it's probably not what Ria had initially intended, or what I had initially planned on. But I don't think it's something I should rush in the next 6 weeks before my birthday, so I'm not going to. With that being said, I promise I won't forget about it either. I will just wait until I'm ready. I've made progress in my faith and in myself and I think that's just as, if not more, important. :)

5. And my cupcake specialty is...

Who came up with the phrase "if at first you don't succeed; try, try again?" Clearly, they have not met me, because if they had, the phrase would be: "If at first you don't succeed; stop what you are doing, find the nearest exit, and keep your head down so no one recognizes you."  So as you know, I've been trying my hand at homemade pizza and, as you also know, it hasn't gone very well. I keep hoping that the next time will go better, but that's not been the case. Two weeks ago, I decided to make homemade margarita pizza. I won't go in to details, but let's just say it ended with a house full of smoke, a very well-hidden kitty, and me balling my eyes out on my basement stairs and vowing I would never, EVER make homemade pizza again...until five minutes later, when I remembered that my pizza dough recipe made enough for two pizzas, and I had a ball of dough in my freezer. Eff. I've been avoiding that ball of dough like the plague. A very cold plague, squatting in my freezer, glaring at me every time the door is open. You're a bitch, pizza dough. Anyway, I decided that I should just make a final pizza, and then I could bid farewell to my homemade pizza days. So, tonight I went all out and made a chicken alfredo pizza. Homemade sauce, fried bacon, lots of cheese. LOTS of cheese.

My damn good alfredo sauce. It's damn good.

As always, the prep went fine. And actually, getting the pizza in the oven went fine too. But then my damn good alfredo sauce decided to share the love with the bottom of the oven and well, the rest is history. Thank goodness I'm an expert at disarming my smoke alarm! Twenty minutes later, in a very cold kitchen (did I mention I had to open all the kitchen and mudroom windows?  Oh, well I did...) I got to eat my pizza. And it was actually very good! But now, homemade pizza, I bid you farewell. From now on, I'm only sticking to pizza of the frozen or delivery variety.

My pretty pizza!

 

So, after ten months of cupcake making, I've found my specialty! And it's not at all what I expected. My (current) cupcake specialty, the recipe responsible for another item crossed of my list is....BUFFALO CHICKEN CUPCAKES! Ok, I know what you're thinking: chicken and buffalo sauce in a cupcake? Nasty! Well good news: they are nothing like that at all. I found this recipe on one of my favorite cooking blogs: The Girl Who Ate Everything. (I highly, highly recommend her blog, especially if you're in a cooking rut. I've found some of my favorite recipes there.) Anyway, these cupcakes are basically a wonton shell, layered with a mixture of chicken, cream cheese, buffalo sauce, ranch, and cheddar cheese, layered with another wonton, layered with more mixture, topped with cheese. Yum. I've made them three times in ten days. They are SO. GOOD.

 

Cupcakes pre-oven

Deliciousness! (Please ignore the giant bite out of the one on the right)

 

So, how did I come to the revelation that these were my cupcakes? My special cupcakes? The cupcakes that defined my year of being 25? Well, in the past year, I've developed an obsession with buffalo chicken anything...dip, chili, nachos, you name it. So these seemed a perfect fit. I've also found, in all of my baking extravaganzas, that I'm simply not capable of eating an entire batch of cupcakes. But with these, I can refrigerate the chicken mixture and make them up at my own convienience. I can also refrigerate the leftover cupcakes and they reheat well. (Which is saying something, because I hate leftovers.) And, to top it all off, I felt that these were "outside the box" and I like thinking outside the box. So, there you go. But fear not. This is not the end of my cupcake making adventures. I got three cupcake cookbooks for Christmas as well as a frosting and decorating kit. Oh, and I'm baking cupcakes tomorrow for a baby shower. Yes, a baby shower. For the first time, my cupcakes will be going on the road. Here's hoping I don't burn down my kitchen...and if I do, you'll get to read about it on Sunday.